Life as Usual

Ok so I know I haven't blogged in forever. Sorry about that. :) I think part of it is just that I am getting used to life here. Many of the things that happen during the day which I would have immediately typed out as a good story to share when I first arrived, now just are part of everyday life. I do have one story that I want to share with you all today though about a man that I met in Kroo Bay this week.

On Thursdays I go with Erin, on of the staff members who is a physical therapist, to Kroo Bay where we have been seeing different people who can benefit from Erin's expertise. Mostly we have been seeing people who have suffered from strokes or similar type things which cause them difficulty in using their arms/legs. There is not a whole lot we can do because we are in these peoples' "homes" which are usually just shacks made of sticks and so any sort of therapy equipment is pretty much out of the question. Erin has been helping them by showing them just some simple exercises they can do to help strengthen the weak muscles and stretch the ones that have tightened up from lack of use.

Yesterday we met a 20 year old boy sitting in the doorway to the one room house he shares with his mother, sister, and quite possibly several other relatives. We came to learn that several months ago during the height of the rainy season, he had an accident. For some reason he was running and slipped on a rock and landed on his back and ever since then he had not been able to move his legs. He had gone to the hospital but they had basically told him there wasn't anything they could do for him. So he has been confined to his house ever since where his sister does most everything for him, including dragging him to the doorway so that he can at least see his neighbors and not be completely isolated from his community.

Again we don't really have any kind of equipment and Erin is a therapist but not a medical doctor so while we haven't done any x-rays or anything, the logical conclusion is that he broke his back and has a spinal cord injury that has paralyzed his legs. After working with him for a little while we found out that as of right now he has zero function below the knee but that he did have some extremely minimal function in the muscles between his hip and his knees. If he was laying down, he could not move his legs at all but after I had helped him put his knees in the air with his feet on the ground he was able to squeeze a pillow that Erin had put between his knees. After that we helped him learn how to move himself from his pad on the floor to the doorway by himself by picking up his legs with his hands and pushing himself along the floor. We tried to encourage him to try to do as much as he could for himself and to continue the exercises Erin had given him until we came back in a few days to check on him.

This one encounter with this man has both troubled and encouraged me. I'll try to explain what I mean. Kroo Bay is a hard enough place to live. As I have been walking through it often, I guess I am no longer "shocked" at a lot of things but the reality of the hardship the people there endure is never weakened in my mind. As I was with this paralyzed man and even more as I kept thinking about him the rest of the day I was almost completely overcome with grief. The question in my mind was, "I mean seriously God, was he not suffering enough already that he had to become paralyzed too?" Yeah great timing too because that night we were doing a Bible study at Lighthouse that I had prepared from Romans 5:1-11 about rejoicing in our sufferings. Haha yeah God always has great timing huh.

Even through all the questioning and heart ache that I felt yesterday there was one thing that had happened that kept coming into my mind and I'm still trying to process it. Before we had left, we had knelt down to pray with him and while we were praying I grabbed his hand and he kept squeezing it so hard. When we stood up to leave I looked down at him as I shook his hand goodbye and he had the biggest grin on his face as he looked back up at me. At the time I was still kind of shell-shocked by the whole situation but as I thought about it later, that grin seemed so out of place to me. Here is this man who is in the midst of the kind of suffering I will probably never be able to relate to and yet he is smiling at me and thanking us for coming to see him.

After the Bible study at Lighthouse I was thinking about one of the other passages we read from Romans 8 that went along with our Romans 5 study.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."^{l]" style="line-height: 0.5em; ">[l]} ³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^{m]" style="line-height: 0.5em; ">[m]} neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Now I don't know if this guy was a believer or not. Most likely, he is Muslim as most people in that area are. He probably doesn't know this specific verse but the Truth that there is nothing in this world, no suffering or hardship that is able to separate us from the love of God is always constant whether we know it, believe it, or not. Yesterday, Erin, Jan, and myself were privileged to be vessels through which that ever-present love of God could be poured through in a real and tangible way. God most certainly does not need us to show His love but it only makes sense that if we as believers have the Spirit of God living inside of us that He would use us as vessels through which His love can be poured into the world around us.

I don't know why this 20 year old boy was smiling because His circumstances definitely did not warrant such a reaction. To be honest I think I have a great deal to learn from people like him as I am not sure I would react in the same way. All I can think of to explain it is that he felt that He was loved and cared for. He may not realize explicitly that it is his Heavenly Father that is the source of that love but I pray someday He will.

It has been experiences like this that have really begun to make me realize what true ministry or service really is. I even wrote several posts when I first got here about this same kind of thing I think but now I am beginning to know it better by experience. It is not merely about fixing problems or having the right "projects." It is about people with names, families, histories, passions, desires, hurts, sorrows, and joys. It is about being a vessel through which the love of God can be poured into their own lives so that they may know that they are loved and cared for and that through Christ there is nothing that can separate them from the love of God.

Haha ok I'm going to stop now cause this is really long. I have a lot more thoughts about this rolling around in my head but I'll leave it at that for now. Looking forward to seeing all of you soon!

Germans and Gangstas

Well first of all, I tried to post some pictures from our Banana Island retreat on here last night and after spending 30 minutes waiting for them to upload, it didn't work. So maybe I'll try again soon. We had a great time of rest and reflection and preparation for our last two months here for our Servant Team.

Ok so I don't have any meaningful stories or deep introspective thoughts to write on here today. But I do have a funny story to tell. The past few weeks or so I have started getting two new comments from people on the street almost as much as "White Boy!" For whatever reason, I have gotten, on many occasions, "Hey German Man!" Haha not sure where that comes from but evidently I look German...or maybe it's just that whole "All you white people look the same" thing. :) Now the second one is really funny to me. At least once a day, I walk past some group of boys and there is inevitably this funny change in their demeanors. They all seem to instantly get this nonchalant, "too cool for school" air about them. Usually one of them starts doing this sort of "thug walk" toward me. Then there always seems to be this sort of gravitational pull of one of his hands to the crotch of his jeans while the other is usually thrown up in some gesture and he yells (in his best American movie inspired accent), "Yo, what up gangsta!" I still laugh every time it happens! One time I actually turned around and in Krio said, "Mi noto gangsta." A girl standing nearby then asked with a look on her face that seemed both amused and confused at the same time, "If you're not a gangsta then why do you have those things in your ears?" All I could do was laugh. I have no good answer for that one. :)

Much love to you all!
Erik (aka the German Gangsta)

Oct 9 (Pole Dancing Grandmas)

Ok so I've already been on the internet for over an hour responding to emails and facebook messages and such so this is going to be a quick one but I have a story to share. :)

I've been spending more time in Kroo Bay the past two weeks with Jan and also with Erin one of the staff members here who is a physical therapist. The first time we went together we went to visit some different people in the area with various physical problems. To make the story short I will just talk about one of them. I'm not sure of the ladies name but we just called here Grandmama. When we came to the "house" (really just a one room shack made of sticks and a tin roof), this sauna like heat smacked me in the face as I walked in, making me struggle to breath. As my eyes adjusted to the dark I saw a feeble old lady laying in bed barely able to move. (At this point I had only been there about 15 seconds and I was already drenched with sweat). I think the story was that she had been in bed one day, as she was mostly bed-ridden already, and a box of something had fallen off a shelf at the foot of her bed and landed on her leg. I don't think it broke here leg but as she spent all of her time in bed because of the pain in her leg she had become completely bed ridden as her muscles atrophied. Erin then talked to her and asked her if we could try to help her walk outside. Me and Erin, one at the front and one at the back, helped her sit up, then stand up, and then take small shuffling steps to the door as she leaned on us, struggling with the effort. After we got her outside, for what was probably the first time in a while, we sat her down on a bench and Erin began to explain to her (well really Erin spoke Krio to her grandaughters who then translated it to Temne, the tribal language that Grandmama spoke) different excersizes that would help strengthen her muscles so that she would not have to be bedriden. We then asked if we could pray for her and after doing so told her that we would be back the next week to check on her.

So this past Thursday we went back to check on Grandmama and as we approached the house we saw the grandaughters and greeted them and the other 20 people who had congregated outside as happens when white people are around. :) Then as we tried to go inside the grandaughters were already helping Grandmama out of bed and helping her walk out of the door to sit on the bench. I was amazed at how much she had improved! And also at the love with which the grandaughters had helped their grandmama every day since we had first visited. Now where she was sitting was under a porch covered with a tin roof and support poles made of saplings. Erin was having her do some excersizes and at one point she had gotten her to stand up mostly by herself by grabbing the pole. I was so excited! As she was standing, Erin asked her if she could lift up one foot at a time in a marching motion.

Now, what happened next, for whatever reason, seemed really beautiful and yet humorous to me at the same time. Grandmama began lifting up one foot at a time and then for some reason decided to speed it up so that to me it looked like she was dancing. :) Now, however inappropriate or out of place the thought may have been, the first thing that popped into my head when she started this was "last week this grandmama was bed ridden and now she is pole dancing!" LOL I know that is wrong on so many different levels but I think maybe Jesus was laughing with me at the joy of seeing this grandmama dance.

After Grandmama had tired and was done with her excersizes, we again asked if we could pray with her and as she agreed we invited her grandaughters to join with us in a circle as we all began to pray in the Sierra Leonian style (which basically means everybody prays out loud and at the same time what is on their heart and in whatever language they happen to speak, which I have a feeling is a lot what heaven is going to be like). As had I finished praying but the others were not quite done, I looked up at Grandmama's face (I had knelt down in front of her to pray). Though I knew she did not understand most of the languages that had been spoken in prayer over her, I could see it in her face that she was overcome with love and emotion. Then was we all said "Amen" she reached up to her eyes to wipe away a tear...Or maybe it was just an eye booger but regardless I have no doubt that she felt loved.

More Pictures!!!!

Hey everybody, pictures are kind of a pain in the butt to upload here and it is easier to put them on Facebook so here is the public link to all of my Sierra Leone pictures on Facebook. Enjoy!!!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2124616&id=55003949&l=85e661055f

Sept 22 (Jesus knelt before me today, barefoot and haggard)

This is something I wrote last night after an experience I had with a man that afternoon. I know there are all kinds of issues with and opinions about giving to beggars that deal with enabling, dependency, substance abuse problems and all kinds of stuff. This has nothing to do with any of that. This is just my own confession of brokenness, for not only my failure to recognize my Lord in front of me, but choosing to ignore Him.


"Jesus knelt before me today, barefoot and haggard"

With belly full and satisfied
I sauntered down the steps.
Then on the street, who do I meet
But Jesus Christ Himself.

I'd passed Him once on the way in
And crossed to the other side.
Now as we meet, can't help but see
The suffering in His eyes.

What happened next, I did not expect
Or ever thought I'd see.
The King of Kings and Lord of Lords
Knelt down in front of me.

With head bowed low and hands outstretched
He humbly looked my way,
And what did I do? It's shameful but true.
I turned and walked away.

I did not think to see my Lord
Down on bended knee.
"Christ, be fair! I did not know!
Twas You knelt front of me."

But as these words come out my mouth
I hear my Lord's decree,
"What you've not done for the least of these
You have not done for Me."

Sept 20 (What I AM and am NOT)

First a little side note, anybody wanting to understand more about Kroo Bay check out this website. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery/07/africa_sierra_leone_slum/html/1.stm

This week marked the one month anniversary of my arrival to Sierra Leone! In some ways it feels like time has just flown by and in other ways it feels like I have been here for so much longer than that. It seems that the longer I am here (and really just the more days that I am alive in general) the more I realize how much I have to learn. And the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know. :) Such is the nature of knowledge I guess. If I had to describe my time here so far with one word it would be "humbling." I have been realizing two things - that which I AM and that which I am NOT.

I have found out that I am not as strong, not as compassionate, not as loving, not as good a teacher, not as well read or educated, not as discerning (and a whole host of other things) as I thought. And if I stopped there that would make for a pretty depressing experience thus far but the good news is it doesn't stop there. In learning all those things I am realizing my weakness, and it is in my realization and acceptance of my weakness that I am made strong. I am made strong because of what I DO have as a follower of Christ. First and foremost, I have the Spirit of the Living God dwelling in me, the same Spirit which lived in Christ Himself and empowered Him to live in 100% complete dependence upon God to live and to work through Him. As a child of God, heir with Christ, beloved of the Father, if I allow His spirit within me to lead and guide me so that as Paul said "It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me," then I can go forward in the full confidence that the power of His Spirit within me is more than sufficient to accomplish all that He has set before me. So really I guess I am realizing the power of the ONE thing that I DO have which by far trumps all my weaknesses and limitations, actually in fact it is only through me recognizing and accepting my weakness and limitations that the Spirit is then free to work in me.

My entire life I have always been a get 'er done kind of guy but God keeps telling me to be still, silent, and alone with Him, to stop running around trying to do so much and to learn to enjoy him. Then my "doing" becomes much more focused and has more purpose because it is a result of my "being." Yes there is so much to be done in the world and yes Christ has called each one of us to "go" in our own callings, in essence it looks like the "love your neighbor" part of the two greatest commandments. But while I have been here God has been teaching me about the greatest commandment "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind." You see only if I am living in this first and greatest commandment can I live out the second one. As I learn to be silent, still, and alone with God, stripped of all support structures, masquerades, and pretenses, I am realizing the passion and the intensity with which my Abba Father loves and desires me. As I am overcome with the magnitude of His presence and love in me it is then and only then that I am capable of fulfilling the second greatest commandment. It is in this place as I stated earlier that my "doing" becomes a result of my "being."

Sept 13 (Diva men and tattoos)

This past Thursday, one of the men on staff here named Jan (he's German so it's pronounced Yan) asked me to go to Kroo Bay with him. We were going to drop off a med student from Oxford named Rachel at a clinic in the middle of the slum and then go to a couple of places in the area that Jan knew to get to know some of the people who live there and establish some relationships with them. Evidently he is already fairly well known by a lot of the people and we heard "Mr. Jan! Mr. Jan!" coming from all over as we walked. Everybody wanted to greet him. I do not think there is a way for me to give you an accurate understanding of what Kroo Bay is like. It is just not within my literary or vocabulary reach to do so, but suffice it to say that it is a place avoided by even most Freetown locals, most of whom would be considered poor themselves. It is a place of poverty, disease, hunger, and all sorts of suffering and evil, but while that is all true it is also a place where there is a great opportunity for the love of our Creator to be shown. For it is in the darkest places where even a little bit of light can make a huge difference.

Basicall, what Jan is doing in Kroo Bay right now is getting to know the people. I think so many times in my own life I get wrapped up in projects and "fixing" problems as the way to love my neighbor as Christ commanded. Now I am all for certain projects and social justice issues and such but it is so easy sometimes to de-humanize or de-personalize such things. I forget that within the "projects" are the prized creation of the Most High God, made in His image, and beloved by Him. It is when I begin to comprehend this Truth that places like Kroo Bay cease to exist in my mind as a problem that needs fixing but instead as a place filled with beloved children of my own Father, my brothers and sisters, each with a face, a name, a story, joys and sorrows, who long to be loved and accepted, and with whom God the Father is madly in love with.

Ok, so time for a story. One of the thins we did in Kroo Bay is to go to this place the residents called "Diva." One guy we talked to actually introduced himself to us as a "Diva Man" and I was really confused at first until he explained the meaning. I know, funny name in English, but in Krio it basically means "hang out spot." Diva is a lean to style structure with no walls, a tin roof, and bench style seats made of crude wood where people, mostly men and boys, hang out and smoke weed to pass the time. It was really funny to see the reaction of the guys to me and Jan walking into Diva amidst the pot smoke wafting through the air and then Jan asking if we could hang out with them. At first, they were suspicious of us, and I don't blame them. I doubt many white people come to hang out there much. Jan just told them we came to learn from them about life in Kroo Bay. Once they realized that Jan and I weren't there to really "do" anything but that we were really interested in hearing about their lives in Kroo Bay, both good and bad, they started to loosen up and talk and joke with us. They told us about their community soccer team and bragged about how two guys from Kroo Bay actually play on the national team. They pointed out the field that they play on but informed us that they were waiting until after the rainy season to play because the area floods so badly. Not only does their houses flood but with the water comes all the trash and filth from the city above so the entire area, soccer field, paths, houses, is covered with trash. They told us that the flooding is worse now because of a bridge the city built for a road through Kroo Bay is causing a buildup of rubbish and is not allowing the water to flow through but instead pushes it out of the banks and into the slum. They told us about trying to find work in the city but the scarcity of jobs which is why they sit around and smoke instead of working (granted there are probably a variety of reasons they do not work. some their own fault and some not but I am just repeating their words).

One of the cool parts about the whole thing was that they seemed thankful, though probably still skeptical, that we actually wanted to listen to their thoughts on life in Kroo Bay and that we honestly admitted that we did not understand and could not relate but wanted to learn from and listen to them.

At the end, several of them were asking about my tattoos and so Jan asked if they wanted to hear the story behind my tree tattoo. Stories and pictures are big in African culture so they were eager to hear. Jan read the story from Isaiah 11 that prophesies of the coming of Christ. "A shoot will come up from the stump of Jesse; from his roots a Branch will bear fruit...." I told Jan later that was not actually the original inspiration of the tatoo but that I really liked his interpretation of it. After that, they all asked to hear the story behind my other tattoo, as they could only see the part below my sleeve, but we had to get going so Jan said if they would like for us to come back we could tell them the story next time. They said we could come back Monday if we wanted to. Haha I think it is so interesting to see how God works sometimes. I never really imagined myself in a pot den in a slum in Freetown having a friend use my tattoos as a story board to tell of the love of Christ. Please pray for the people in Kroo Bay and especially for the "Diva men" that Gold would reveal Himself to them, that they may see and experience His love. For there is no place that His love cannot penetrate. Pray that I may listen to and obey the Spirit as He leads my interaction with these people.

I love you all!!!